Best of Times... Worst of Times

Let me describe for you two days last week, one representing the best of times, one representing the worst of times (hyperboles, of course, but at the time the exaggeration was felt).

ThUrSdAy MoRnInG:

I didn't have to be to work until around 10am due to some field visits near my neighborhood, so I spent the morning doing what needed to be done, doing what was peaceful and uplifting, doing what was a tangible, relished *sigh* in the middle of a few very hectic work weeks. That morning was "the best of times."

I woke up, ate breakfast with Marc, sent him off, read my scriptures, read an Ensign article, lifted weights, spent 10 minutes on the elipitcal machine (yes, measly amount of time, but at least I did it! I'm try to do something remotely related to exercise in order to plan for the baby, and I'm starting with baby steps), used my laptop to watch the funeral of President/Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley while I continued in my cross-stitch project for my mother-in-law and made some really decent progress, kept watching the very touching funeral in the kitchen while I prepared dinner for that night, showered, got ready, made the bed, cleaned the kitchen and living room, and left for work!

Basically, a morning spent doing the things that benefited my home and soul, a rarity, truly. The rest of the day went well both at work and coming home, was very productive and everyone at work was pleasant, etc. and I was happy to have a meal all prepared for that night (which I NEVER do), went to YW's and voila! The night was over and I just felt like it was such a GREAT day!

FrIdAy NiGhT and SaTuRdAy MoRnInG:

Friday started off, actually, too good to be true, waking up to a fresh blanket (the only blanket this winter!) of snow! 3 or 4 whole inches, everything covered, still, and gorgeous. The first (hopefully the last this season- I mean, it IS the end of February- bring on Spring now, please!) real snow! It put me in the best mood and I walked to the bus stop (no need to clear off or defrost our car or battle the ridiculous traffic) and chatted with my mom on the phone that morning while waiting 15 minutes for the bus - and it was delightful! I was all bundled up and Philadelphia was just soooo beautiful!

The work day proceeded equally well, full of productivity and jovial lunchtime banter. Until 4pm... duhn-duhn... when 'the man who pays my salary' called to discuss an academic poster that I'd been working on for the majority of the week. Note: this poster is past its preferable due date to be completed, printed, and shipped to Portland for the conference where I will be presenting it, so anything at this point is a rush. The phone call lasted forever, and was laced with last minute statistical regression analyses, creating tables in Excel, discussing statistical results by phone, emailing documents back and forth to each other (to give credit, poor 'salary paying man' had been sick at home all week with the doozy flu that's been going around, so he had to work from home while I worked at the office). Basically a logistical nightmare making for very slow, repetitive, inefficient work at the very end of the day.

It drug on until 6:45 pm, when I finally left the office, the last to leave. Not too late (nay, even early!) for the ibanker, but for a poor public health professional on a Friday night, not something anticipated nor appreciated. In short, I was frustrated... actually, MAD.

Then Marc was reluctant to pick me up from work because of the snow and the terrible PA drivers would make it 45 minutes for him to actually get to me. But I was reluctant to take the bus because it was so late. Anyways, I ended up on public transportation (which I normally love) but missed the subway by like 30 seconds, had to wait 10 minutes, then had to wait for the bus in the freezing cold after that, by then I was so frustrated and irked at Marc for not *wanting* to pick me up... grr! I started to cry, just a bit, but tears nonetheless. I boarded the bus and lost one of my contacts due to the crying!

Right then Marc called to save the day and said he was one the way to pick me up, but I couldn't see the street signs clearly in the dark and without my contact (I'm practically blind without my contacts) so I didn't know where to get off to have him pick me up. Still... when I finally DID meet up with my hubby I was relieved!

The "grrrrrr" feeling drug on all the next morning because I had to work from home to finish the statistics and the academic poster... worked ALL morning from 8 until 2:45 pm! After I was finally done, I drug myself to Target (most times I just don't like shopping) where I thought I'd FINALLY get myself some maternity clothes. Every pregnant woman I know gets clothes from Target and they always look so cute. Oh no. That day, EVERYTHING in Target looked ugly to me! I was so bummed! But I tried on a few things anyways because I was desperate for maternity clothes.

Alas, 3 young 20-something year old girls were in the dressing room as well, open doors, yelling to each other the following:
"Ohmigosh! You look so good! I love shopping!"
"Everything looks so good on us! I love our bodies!"
"I had to get a smaller size because I'm still so skinny! Just like in highschool!"
"Ah! This is amazing... everything we try on is soooo flattering! I love this! I could buy every color!"

Yes. I wanted, for the first time, to kill someone of my own gender. I wanted to scream out, as I grumpily stared myself down in the mirror in my dressing room, I wanted to scream, "I hope you all become shapeless, old ugly hags when you're pregnant!!!" because everything I was trying on made me look ugly and fat. It was a depressing visit to Target. I ended up buying one shirt, mascara, and toilet paper.


*Update: A week later and I've successfully spent money on some *cute* maternity shirts, actually ENJOYING shopping in a *mall* (not usually my favorite kind of place) while in Portland, OR. Also, the Ensign came and I was able to spend yesterday reading it and feeling uplifted. Also, the poster presentation went wonderfully well and I really enjoyed my work trip to Portland and enjoyed the conference and all my stats were great on the poster. And... I'm less grouchy! Too much whining in one post, right? S.O.R.R.Y.